With a career spanning fifty years Frank Ashmore has made dozens of television and cinematic appearances. A selection of these are summarised with clips here. As there is so much to cover I’ve split these posts up into decades and the first deals with the 1970s. This is a fun era to cover as there is a variety of drama, action, sci-fi, horror, and comedy (sometimes all in the same work).
Naturally there are some real bobby dazzlers as well as one or two duds in Ashmore’s filmography. But a dud isn’t completely worthless, for example I found this little gem from a very early career film called Those Mad, Mad Moviemakers which really is only a one joke pony. Trust me, don’t bother. Ashmore has only one line and it’s … well … this:
I enjoyed that very much.
You have to wonder, what else has he got in his repertoire that we haven’t seen on the screen yet?
Happy Days: Wish Upon a Star (1974)
Richie Cunningham wins a date to the dance with Hollywood actress Cindy Shea (played by Cheryl Ladd) Only he gets the wrong end of the stick after just about everyone around him builds up expectations of movie stars with loose morals. Ashmore plays photographer Johnny who is there to capture publicity stills of Richie and Shea and all the romantic poses which in part adds to the impression that Richie is in with a chance with the starlet.
When Richie gets invited back to Shea’s hotel room he starts rehearsing how he’s going to hit on her only to be walked in on by photographer Johnny. Johnny then then tells Richie he is Cindy’s husband and then gives his wife a big territorial pash as if to hammer home the point. So embarrassing. Struck out! Plus he dumped his steady because he thought he was hooking up with Cindy. Oh dear.
The Streets of San Francisco: Crossfire (1974)
In this episode Ashmore plays a particularly dim hitman who gets very upset if anyone accuses him of … well … being dim.
Stone (played by Karl Malden who looks so much like Richard Herd it’s not funny) and Keller (Michael Douglas) must track down this sniper who has already killed the wrong woman in a case of mistaken identity and now is intent on finishing the job. I always thought Ashmore and Nick Nolte had a similar look and this is exploited as part of the plot line. The confusion of blondness leads our intrepid detectives down a blind alley before tracking down their man.
Ashmore does a great job playing someone who is perhaps not playing with a full deck and is a bit of an open wound of male fragility. He has few lines but conveys so much just through facial expressions – it’s a solid performance. And he can also join an esteemed club of those who have tussled on screen with Michael Douglas: Sharon Stone, Demi Moore, Glen Close, Matt Damon.
Black Eye (1974)
Not everything from the 70s dates quite as well. Like this weird blaxploitation flick populated with majority white supporting characters. Don’t know how it manages to be both lurid and PG at the same time.
Great news boys, looks like the character Ashmore plays might be gay. At least it’s broadly hinted at in the script and in a scene where a woman offers him sex he plays the role with such a great air of studied detachment. Bad news is his character is a particularly nasty piece of work and dies early on. Before this there is a great fight scene between Ashmore and lead actor Fred Williamson which is almost of We-Live-put-the-glasses-on proportions.
The car chase is also fun. I hate to admit that I found myself drawn in by the plot on this one. Other reviewers complain this movie is slow and boring (I would say naturalistic and carefully paced). In fact Black Eye helped me realise that’s why I loved the slower, more aimless scenes in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood so much (and hated just about everything else in that film). Tarantino is a connoisseur of this stuff.
The Astral Factor (1976 released 1978) aka The Invisible Strangler (1984)
Poor Roger, he just wants to be seen. Ashmore plays a son kept hidden from the public by his fading star mother. As a result of years of neglect he becomes literally invisible through intense meditation. Ninety minutes of weird Oedipal urges and mild yet insidious misogyny ensue.
I think my favourite scene in the whole movie is Roger having a deep and meaningful conversation with his dead mother in a graveyard. The acting in this scene is good, and the cutting is paced to dramatic and yet comic effect. It’s a shame the rest of the film isn’t just Roger rummaging around the graveyard getting into arguments with random dead people.
Despite the fact he’s the title character Ashmore is not really in this film much because: invisible. In fact the microphone boom seems to get more camera time than he does. Boo!
Barnaby Jones: Prime Target (1978)
In this late Barnaby Jones episode there’s a lot of JR (Mark Shera) and not much Barnaby (Buddy Ebsen). This is something many fans of the show were a little bitter about. But there is a small minority who liked it, maybe because they dug Mark Shera.
This episode centres around a cute girl who has just been released from prison. Everyone is trying to get close to her to find out what happened to the money from the robbery for which she went down. JR moves into the apartment across the hall to see if he can wheedle the resolution of this crime out of her. But he has some competition in the form of Frank Ashmore as that no-good Ted who is also after the money.
I can see why people don’t like the JR character, he is an irritating child. But on the other hand it is really fun to see him throwing playground insults at bad egg Ted by the pool (who never did go get anyone a beer btw. Cad.)
The Bob Newhart Show: Group on a Hot Tin Roof (1978)
In this episode therapist Bob’s patient Plager, played by Howard Hesseman makes a debut as a playwright with his WWI western front drama. Only the actors in the play are all dead ringers for fellow therapy group members Carlin, Peterson and Bakerman who are portrayed in the most unflattering way making all the group members extremely unhappy. Newhart braces himself for the actor who is chosen to portray the character based on him.
And, it’s Frank Ashmore at his most dashing, handsome and heroic! Hurrah! Naturally Newhart is quite pleased with this even if he thinks little of the play. The rest of the episode is about how Ashmore bears an uncanny resemblance to Newhart. Frank is a very successful straight man here. I always liked Newhart’s humour and was tickled to see his impact as a comedian acknowledged in both Mad Men and The Marvellous Mrs Maisel. So for me this is the most enjoyable of Ashmore’s sitcom outings.
CHiPs: Rally ‘Round the Bank (1979)
Double bubble! It’s Frank Ashmore and Ron Hajak! Ron Hajak played Juliet Parrish’s stockbroker boyfriend in V: The Original Mini-series so seeing these two together in this episode is loads of fun. They both are playing the bad guys, their characters were given responsibility for looking after the prize money for a car rally (why?) but they spent it all. Presumably on too tight beefy-Ts and car decals. To make up for it they start robbing drive-through banks because that was a thing back then.
The main plot line is some rather awkward stuff about Ponch’s hot mom coming to town and the script teeters on Oedipal in some spots. The awkwardness ramps up when Ponch and his mom attend a square dance. There’s so much gingham and plaid and when Hajak and Ashmore start tapping their feet to the music and Eric Estrada starts dancing I’m not sure where to look. It’s ok as an episode and extra delight for V fans.
Battlestar Galactica: Murder on the Rising Star
We open this episode with Starbuck and Apollo engaged in a game called Triad which is supposed to be some form of basketball mashed up with rugby. Oh that got my attention didn’t it!? They are up against a particularly physical player called Ortega (played by Ashmore) who is slamming them all over the court. Starbuck cries foul and it soon becomes clear there is no love lost between him and Ortega.
Now. Not to get distracted. Only if this is a contact sport then Starbuck is the one who is being a total crybaby about a few forced errors and the fact that Ortega is better at testing the limits with the ref which is a completely legitimate part of the game. So I’m with Ortega on this one. Unfortunately, Ashmore’s character gets killed off in the first five minutes and it looks like Starbuck is the guilty party. That’s the whole point of the episode, it’s a procedural courtroom drama and it’s really good. Sure.
But back to Frank and rugby. Frank is in this episode so little I can really only judge it by his sport acting and I think it’s very good. Having seen how long he stuck it out with Fred Williamson in that fight scene in Black Eye, not to mention dragging a hefty Marc Singer around the mothership air vents in Final Battle I reckon he’s got at least 60 minutes of game in him even now. I saw him in The Lost Coast Tapes and he looked pretty damn nippy for a man in his 60s.
Parts: The Clonus Horror (1979)
Yes yes. That film. The one that The Island ripped off. The one that MST3K Theatre riffed the hell out of. The film is about a colony of very nice but pathologically thick clones (it’s called Clonus so this shouldn’t be a spoiler for you) who get mysteriously sent to “America” after some topless frolicking, PG-rated canoodling and cake. (Not in that order.)
Ashmore plays a clone called George who wins this contest which manages to be both homoerotic and heteronormative at the same time. We the audience are treated to seeing what “going to America” entails and [spoiler] it doesn’t pan out for poor dumb dumb George.
This all happens in the first ten minutes of the film but there is the aforementioned topless frolicking so it’s a quality ten minutes.
The film is not as bad as everyone makes out. I like a film that tries to do something different rather than make safe choices. Parts has some interesting ideas even if not always well executed. It is also a massive riff-fest, so it’s watchable on multiple levels.
Laverne and Shirley: The Dating Game (1980)
In this episode Lenny (Michael McKean) and Squiggy (David L. Lander) somehow get onto The Dating Game and Ashmore is the third contestant Bob Gatenby. It’s a similar visual joke as in Newhart though it’s quickly overtaken by the commentary about how generally messed up this television show format is. Ashmore is obviously supposed to be a contrast in desirability next to our favourite neighbourhood greasers. But in all honesty the expectations of the contestants of these dating shows means no man will escape without looking like a little bit of a creep.
As the bachelors answer the questions Lenny and Squiggy’s answers become more and more idiosyncratic and Gatenby’s more and more pro forma (which is just as absurd in a different way) the guys start squabbling and frankly all three of them are pretty unattractive by the end of it. Squiggy is selected by our bachelorette and quickly rejected when Squiggy goes off at her for not selecting a crestfallen Lenny. Squiggy wins a romantic trip to Acapulco with the date of his choice so of course he takes Lenny. This show is cleverer than I remember but I shouldn’t be surprised.
Airplane (1980)
Ah the gift that keeps on giving. I thought this was the funniest thing I ever saw first time I watched it. The DNA of this classic comedy is woven into so many contemporary features from Thor: Ragnarok to Barb and Star go to Vista del Mar. There are so many comedic ideas in this film there are jokes coming in to land at a frequency that outstrips the 40 second separation for planes coming in to Heathrow.
Ashmore plays the flight engineer in this and is the Victor of the famous “what’s your vector Victor?!” bit. Also notable is getting through some pretty technical dialogue with pilot Peter Graves while a man outside cleans the window. But for me, the biggest laugh is the choreographed vapid smiling during Lorna Patterson’s guitar solo.
Airplane is pure comfort fare and I have watched it many many times over the years. Everyone in it is brilliant, and I have a real soft spot for Julie Haggerty whose vocal cadence is so unique it’s almost a separate character in the film – she’s just so lovely. I will never get sick of it. I’m glad Frank was part of it.
When Martin Died 